The Honeymoon Phase

You know when you first meet someone, there’s so much excitement and thrill. You feel like you are on a cloud, floating in nothing but bliss. Your emotions are heightened, and nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, can damper your mood because you are just so freaking happy? This is how I feel when I look at my daughter.

Don’t tell me it’s just the hormones. I mean, yes, the oxytocin from breastfeeding is REAL. But I truly feel euphoric. I am in complete awe of her every ounce of being. I look at her and melt. She smiles at me, and tears wallow in my eyes. Happy tears, of course. I am overwhelmed with love for a 13 pound human being, who happens to look exactly like me.

This is real love. The kind of love you can only experience when you spend 9.5 months growing a life inside you, and then go through the painful experience of labor, to bring this life into the world.

I am so blessed to be a mama. To be Myla’s mama. There is nothing that makes me happier than knowing I have a daughter to love and care for, for the rest of my life.

To my daughter:

When you entered this world on October 21st, 2018 at 2:26pm, you wailed, wondering why you were taken from your home that was inside me. Then, you were finally in my arms. I gave you a greater home as I held you so close. From the first moment I met you, I knew I would die for you. I would do anything for you. I would move mountains for you. I would protect you, and teach you, and love every part of you, my beautiful daughter.

I am truly in a honeymoon phase, each time I look at you. I spend my days watching you sleep; my god you are so peaceful. I watch you eat, which is clearly when you’re the happiest, with each and every little sweet noise you make. And when you smile at me, my heart swells.

I have discovered my finest, happiest self by being your mama.

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